• Skip to main content
  • Skip to header right navigation
  • Skip to site footer
  • Home
  • About Denise
  • Forms
  • Fees & Policies
  • Online Classes
  • Upcoming Events
  • Contact
  • 713-823-4001
Denise O’Doherty

Denise O’Doherty

Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Drug and Alcohol Counselor, Registered Nurse

  • Relationship Counseling
    • Couples Therapy
    • Marriage Counseling & Family Therapy
    • Premarital Counseling
    • Domestic Abuse Counseling
    • IMAGO Relationship Therapy
  • Substance Abuse
    • Alcohol & Drug Addiction
    • SALCE Evaluations
  • LGBTQ+
    • Lesbian Therapy
    • LGBTQ+ Couples Therapy
  • Other Areas of Practice
    • Anxiety/Depression
    • BiPolar Disorder
    • Codependency/Personal Boundaries
    • Grief Counseling / Grief Therapy
    • Love Addiction/Love Avoidance
    • Overcoming Shame /Increasing Self-Esteem
    • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Dissociative Disorders
  • Gender Identity
    • Parents of Transgender Children
    • Gender Dysphoria
    • Cross-Dressing
    • Adult Children of Transgender Parents
  • Articles
Home » Articles » When Addiction Gets in the Way of Your Relationship or Marriage

When Addiction Gets in the Way of Your Relationship or Marriage

December 14, 2016 by Denise O'Doherty

The Purpose Behind Addiction

Altering your state of consciousness is a common act- and we all do it. Whether it’s morning coffee to wake up, an afternoon diet coke to re-energize, or a glass of wine to relax before bed-time, most of us use substances for attitude adjustments. Marriage Counseling, couples counseling, premarital counseling, relationship counseling, We also use food for reasons other than nourishment.

It’s one thing to use substances within a healthy framework, but another to cross the line into addiction – and it can be very difficult to see the difference.

When we are in physical or emotional pain, we want relief immediately. When the nervous system is out of balance, we try to regulate ourselves in the best ways we know how. We turn to many substances and activities: alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, the Internet, porn, gambling and gaming.  What happens after a while is that we build up tolerance and after time you much consume more to get the same effect.

The Problem with addiction.

When you are in an altered state, you become very self-centered. Frequently, the addictive habit becomes your primary relationship. Now your partner becomes a competitor to the addiction for time and attention.

Transforming Addiction

Consider these questions:

  • Have you experienced an irresistible urge to use against your conscious wishes?
  • Do you anticipate and dwell on the use beforehand?
  • Have you made promises or plans to cut back or quit but eventually go back to old patterns?
  • Have you lied to yourself or others about your use?
  • Do you feel guilt, shame, or embarrassment about your use?

Answering “yes” to even a few of these can be cause for alarm and a signal to seek help.

Remember, addiction is the addict’s responsibility. It is not your partners fault or responsibility to fix. It is not your fault either, but it is your problem to get corrected. Therapy, a 12-step program, or a support group are 3 steps in the right direction.

It is always the right time to get control of your life. And it is always possible to heal and go forward. You are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

Some material paraphrased from “You’re Tearing Us Apart” by Pat love, Eva Berlander, and Kathleen McFadden

 

 

 

Category: couples counseling, Marriage Counseling, premarital counseling, relationship counselingTag: couples counseling, marriage counseling, premarital counseling relationship counseling

About Denise O’Doherty

Denise O’Doherty, LPC, MSN, LMFT, RN, a native New Yorker, is a psychotherapist, Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified IMAGO Relationship Therapist and Registered Nurse. In addition to her 25-year, full-time private practice in Houston, Texas, she is an educator, lecturer and author. Denise presents regularly to professional, corporate and civic organizations on personal development and transgender education. She has been a Clinical Instructor for the University of Texas at Houston School of Nursing. Her warm and engaging style provides enlightenment, clarity and insight. She inspires confidence while helping others seek positive change. Denise specializes in Gender Identity Issues, Marriage and Family Therapy, Relationship Counseling, Pre-Marital Counseling, Addiction, Recovery and Codependency.

Previous Post:Holiday Bliss vs. Holiday Blues!
Next Post:“Personal Boundaries and Effective Confrontation” presentation by Denise O’Doherty
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn

Houston, TX 77019 | 713-823-4001 | Sitemap | Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 · All Rights Reserved · Maintained by Levy Marketing