• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Home
  • About Denise
  • Forms
  • Fees & Policies
    • Skype Appointments Available
  • Online Classes
  • Upcoming Events
  • Contact
  • 713-823-4001

Denise O’Doherty

Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Drug and Alcohol Counselor, Registered Nurse

  • Relationship Counseling
    • Couples Therapy
    • Marriage Counseling & Family Therapy
    • Premarital Counseling
    • Domestic Abuse Counseling
    • IMAGO Relationship Therapy
    • LGBTQ Couples Therapy
  • Substance Abuse
    • Alcohol & Drug Addiction
    • SALCE Evaluations
  • Gender Identity / LGBTQ
    • A Guide For Parents of Transgender Children
    • Parents of Transgender Children
    • Gender Related Topics
      • Gender Dysphoria
      • Cross-Dressing
      • Adult Children of Transgender Parents
    • LGBTQ Related Topics
      • LGBTQ Issues
      • Corporate Sensitivity Training
  • Other Areas of Practice
    • Anxiety/Depression
    • BiPolar Disorder
    • Codependency/Personal Boundaries
    • Grief Counseling / Grief Therapy
    • Love Addiction/Love Avoidance
    • Overcoming Shame /Increasing Self-Esteem
    • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Dissociative Disorders
  • Blog
  • Search
You are here: Home / areas of practice / Jealousy: A Healthy Way to Deal with the Green-eyed Monster

March 4, 2014 By Denise O'Doherty

Jealousy: A Healthy Way to Deal with the Green-eyed Monster

Jealousy is a waste of time! It is a burden and a result of comparing yourself to others. It is letting outside factors determine your happiness.

  1. e.g. 1. jealousyHe does something that you dislike and you get upset. (Conclusion: his behavior dictates your happiness.
  2. She has a slimmer figure than you and you feel jealous. (Conclusion: Her body size controls your happiness because you let it.)

Jealousy is a form of sabotage in which you loose control of your sense of serenity and well being. Don’t allow someone else to determine your happiness! When beginning to feel jealous.. Remember:

  1. Your feelings will do nothing to change his behavior
  2. If you put all your feelings of happiness and fulfillment in another person’s hands, then you are always setting yourself up for pain (or anger).
  3. His behavior toward someone else is not a reflection of my worth. It is his choice, and I am not going to think less of myself just because he makes a choice.
  4. You do have the power to send out any thoughts that you don’t want swirling around in your head.

If you feel someone has done something which violates your personal agreement, such as having an affair, or going out with another person and lying to you, then present the facts about how you feel to that person (be assertive!)

Tell him or her what it is that you would like to see changed in your relationship so that this does not recur. If the person refuses to change, than you must make a decision.

Put the source of your self-worth and happiness where it belongs – in the self.

Self confident people don’t experience jealousy largely because they don’t fear not being loved. They know that they are worthy of love and if a person doesn’t recognize it, then that is his problem, not theirs. The less dependent you are on another, the less you need his love and the likelier you are to keep it.

Filed Under: areas of practice, couples counseling, Marriage Counseling, relationship counseling

Social Media

FacebookTwitterGoogle +YoutubeLinkedin

Houston, TX 77019 | 713-823-4001 | Sitemap | Privacy Policy

© 2022 All Rights Reserved. | Maintained by Levy Marketing