Jealousy: A Healthy Way to Deal with the Green-eyed Monster

Jealousy is a waste of time! It is a burden and a result of comparing yourself to others. It is letting outside factors determine your happiness.

  1. e.g. 1. jealousyHe does something that you dislike and you get upset. (Conclusion: his behavior dictates your happiness.
  2. She has a slimmer figure than you and you feel jealous. (Conclusion: Her body size controls your happiness because you let it.)

Jealousy is a form of sabotage in which you loose control of your sense of serenity and well being. Don’t allow someone else to determine your happiness! When beginning to feel jealous.. Remember:

  1. Your feelings will do nothing to change his behavior
  2. If you put all your feelings of happiness and fulfillment in another person’s hands, then you are always setting yourself up for pain (or anger).
  3. His behavior toward someone else is not a reflection of my worth. It is his choice, and I am not going to think less of myself just because he makes a choice.
  4. You do have the power to send out any thoughts that you don’t want swirling around in your head.

If you feel someone has done something which violates your personal agreement, such as having an affair, or going out with another person and lying to you, then present the facts about how you feel to that person (be assertive!)

Tell him or her what it is that you would like to see changed in your relationship so that this does not recur. If the person refuses to change, than you must make a decision.

Put the source of your self-worth and happiness where it belongs in the self.

Self confident people don’t experience jealousy largely because they don’t fear not being loved. They know that they are worthy of love and if a person doesn’t recognize it, then that is his problem, not theirs. The less dependent you are on another, the less you need his love and the likelier you are to keep it.