Self esteem is the reputation we have with ourselves. It’s the way we feel about our self at any given time. How we see and feel about ourselves affects everything we do. It affects: our health, our relationships, our work performance and attitude towards others. Overall, it increases the chance of finding happiness. It makes it possible to cope with disappointments and changes, it affects how we see the world and our place in it. It affects how others see and treat us, it affects the choices we make and it affects our ability to give and receive love.
Without self esteem, we have an inability to feel powerful or in control. We are more vulnerable to depression and we have a tendency to see ourselves as less talented and less able.
Self esteem is not self-confidence. Feeling confident means you trust yourself to do something well and are confident in your ability to do it. You can feel confident about something you do well, but still feel bad about who you are.
How do we get self-esteem? By accomplishing things that have meaning to us. Through small and large successes that have significance to us and give our life meaning and value. When we do something that has meaning to us, we feel confident and good about ourselves.
We block self esteem when we give control of our lives over to other people, when we do things that take us away from who we are, and when we loose the desire and passion that connects us with our ability to participate in life.
When we have confidence and self-esteem, we feel good with our self, and we tend to be much more likely to connect with others and have healthy and satisfying relationships.
A part of having good self esteem and good relationships is being able to have good boundaries. Boundaries enhance our sense of who we are, enhance our sense of who others are and help us to recognize and respect our differences when challenged in relationships.
Do you have questions about self esteem or confidence? Have a friend or family member who need self esteem guidance? I can help!