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Denise O’Doherty

Denise O’Doherty

Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Drug and Alcohol Counselor, Registered Nurse

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Home » Effects of Porn on Relationships

Effects of Porn on Relationships

May 13, 2014 | BY Denise O'Doherty

Pornography – Is it a Threat to Relationships?

I recently attended a workshop on Pornography and wanted to share some facts with you.Pornography---Is-it-a-Threat-to-Relationships-1

Most sex education in this country comes from pornography. 90% of high school kids have sex before the end of high school and they learn most of what they know from porn.

What does Porn sex education teach?

  • Sex is an act not a relationship
  • Love is not a part of sex
  • Sex is designed for male pleasure
  • Only perfect bodies have sex
  • Women love oral sex
  • Female is the sex object
  • Women like the same type of sex as men
  • It’s all about orgasm
  • Orgasm always happens
  • Everyone should be a sexual athletic
  • Life is all about sex

Effects of Porn on Relationships

Porn use is common and Pornography---Is-it-a-Threat-to-Relationships-2couples often use it together to enhance foreplay and increase arousal. It becomes a problem when one uses it significantly for the following reasons:

Interest and energy is fueled in relationships. The partners are the source of interest and energy. When porn becomes a part of the relationship, it moves the target from the partner to the porn. After watching much porn, one’s arousal template is high. This means it takes more to get the same effect. Therefore, you don’t look at your partner the same and it takes more effort to get aroused or reach orgasm. “You” are the source of what interest’s me, but porn can take that away by moving the target from partner to porn.

A good example of the above is illustrated in the movie “Don Juan”. He is a charming good looking man who easily has sexual encounters with most women he meets, yet is addicted to porn. He then meets a woman who discovers his secret and asks him why, when he can get any woman he wants, he is addicted. His explains that with porn, he can totally loose himself. He adds, “it’s convenient and because it’s easier”. It’s easily accessible, inexpensive, there is no dating, no having to please a demanding female, no dealing with relationship conflicts. For those with Erectile Dysfunction, no fear of displeasing a woman or having shame regarding performance.

All the above is reason to see why porn can be a threat to a relationship.

In addition, 52% of divorces site porn as an issue.

Filed Under: areas of practice, couples counseling, Marriage Counseling, relationship counseling, Substance Abuse
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