Before you let anger get the best of you, when you feel anger beginning to escalate, visualize a stop sign similar to one you would see on the street while driving. Take some deep breaths and imaging exhaling the anger out of your body to gain immediate control or yourself. Thought-stopping can short-circuit anger. The less angry you are, the less angry you will become.- Get beneath the anger. Anger is often a secondary emotion to the primary feelings of hurt, fear, or shame. Get to the source of your anger and put it into constructive action. (A therapist can help)
- Become an expert in detecting the early warning signs of anger. Stress, lack of sleep, hunger, loneliness, too much stimulation, multi-tasking, lack of affection- all can trigger anger. Track your signs and develop a proactive plan for self-care to prevent the build-up.
- Take responsibility for your own anger regardless of what your partner does. As long as you are blaming, you are stuck in anger.
- Get support. If your anger feels out of control or like it’s getting the best of you or your relationship, get help. Coaches, therapists, and spiritual leaders can be of great assistance in freeing you from this powerful emotion.
Denise O’Doherty
Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Drug and Alcohol Counselor, Registered Nurse