Codependency means putting others needs and feelings ahead of yours, at your expense.
Codependent people put other peoples needs and wants ahead of their own. Codependents let other peoples actions and attitudes determine how they respond and react. Their fear of others feelings determines what they say and do. Codependents often question or ignore their own values to connect with significant others. They are overly responsible for other’s feelings and behaviors and worry how others’ may respond to their feelings. They are overly loyal, even when the loyalty is unjustified and often personally harmful.
The problem with this, is that it keeps you from knowing and expressing your own values and beliefs, and minimizes the truth about how you feel and who you are! People often stay passive. They become invisible, controlled by fear of others not liking them or fear of having deal with conflict. This often leads to feelings of powerlessness, anxiety, shame depression and helplessness. This leads to multiple problems with Self-Esteem. Self-Esteem is essential in life because is proven to affect our health, relationships, work performance and attitude towards others. In addition, high self-esteem:
– Increases the chance of finding happiness
– Makes it possible to cope with disappointments and changes
– Affects how we see the world and our place in it
– Affects choices we make
– Affects our ability to give and receive love
You get treated in life, the way you teach people how to treat you.
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How I Can Help
People often remain passive and codependent because they are controlled by a fear of others not liking them, fear of abandonment, or because of a desire to avoid conflict.
Therapy can teach you various proven skills to overcome fear of conflict, techniques to evaluate and improve your self-esteem, and teach you how to create personal boundaries to define your limits, protect yourself and make safe connections with others. Self-sabotaging behaviors will be a thing of the past. The goal is to increase your feelings of control over your life, by knowing how to protect yourself from toxic and unhealthy relationships, and by making positive choices that are in your best interest with lasting results.